Done with Week One

Well, except for the fact that I'm in the friggin library on a Saturday. How fucked up is that? I think I've spent more time in the library here than I did throughout undergrad. Actually I've been saying that since Monday and it's been true for a while now.



I'm just taking a quick break before I burst a blood vessel in my brain. I've got the names of veins, arteries and nerves popping out of my ears. I'm in the thick of my first block which is ten intense weeks of anatomy with intermittent lectures on embryo and "Patient Physician and Society" (annoying). Supposedly things get much much easier after anatomy.



I can't believe how much shit there is to learn. I can't even believe how much shit I've learned in the past 5 days. Surprisingly I'm a lot better at this than I thought I would be. I always thought I had a shitty memory but I feel like I have a good command of things and I'm not in the least bit stressed out like everyone else seem to be. At least this anatomy stuff seems to click pretty well with me. I'm guessing pharmacology and other straight memorization crap will kill me. Once I forget to be bitter about spending so much time studying I actually find the material pretty exciting. Even more exciting is that I'm not lying when I say that.



I had my first dissection on Thursday, on the posterior triangle of the neck. I have a hell of a lot more respect for ENT people now. I used to think, the ear, nose and throat... that's it? How hard can that be? Well the damned throat is a friggin maze.



Apparently it's pronounced "dis"-section and not "die"-section. If the professor hears you say it the latter way she bites your head off. Anyway I would make some amusing comments about anatomy lab but we're supposed to be respectful to the cadavers and if this blog were found supposedly I could get kicked out of school or something like that. I will say that I'm pretty sure my 90+ year-old cadaver could have kicked my ass because he's built like a friggin tank. Which is both good and bad for dissecting purposes.



I also really need to stop watching zombie movies.



I'd say about a third of our class of 170 is from California (the school nickname is UCSL), which is comforting in a number of ways. One, because it's cool to be from California and not from way the hell out here. Also because it's reassuring to know that there are so many dumbasses like me who couldn't get into their top choice school. The midwest guys are the ones who scare me, because for some reason I can't fathom midwest people seem to actually want to stay out here.



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My car still hasn't arrived from California. Let me just say FUCK Dash Auto Movers. Once I get some free time I will badmouth them properly all over the internet. I signed with them on July 21st and the bastards have been giving me the runaround for weeks with excuses about not being able to get a carrier. Last week my mom finally called another place and they picked the car up within days. Should be here by Wednesday so I can finally get rid of my chick-magnet Ford Focus rental (which I am abusing the hell out of).



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I played 9 holes of a golf scramble last Wednesday for an orientation event. If would have been fun if it hadn't been a million degrees out plus humidity. I don't think I can ever go back to playing without a cart. On the golf end, I've never played so badly in my life, it was so embarrassing. The good news is, I wasn't the worst player on our team. The other guy had never touched a club before. I think I contributed a total of 3 strokes to our team, which ended up 5 over par after 8.5 holes. We didn't finish because a thunderstorm kept getting closer and closer. We were halfway through the last hole when a bolt of lightning struck about half a mile away and we were like "fuck this!" I would have stayed and finished but we didn't learn CPR until Thursday (which I was an hour late to).



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Okay, enough of a study break. This is actually a really boring entry but I'll publish it anyway.
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Song of the Day

Missouri Update (long)

edit: This was written yesterday (tues aug 8th) but my jerk neighbor's internet went down.



So yeah, i'm in friggin Missouri. No offense to my missouri readers out there but it feels like I'm living in someone's armpit. The three times I stepped out of my car today (a/c blasting) my eyeglasses immediately fogged up. Yes, it's that gross out here. Damn I miss california weather.



Anyway orientation started yesterday and I am more or less settled in. The people here seem pretty normal. No one with three arms or anything like that.



I've been meaning to update since arriving here thursday night but I kept putting it off. I'd like to say it's because I've been so busy moving shit in, burning through cash and having my parents in town. But mainly it's because I didn't want to bother with resizing and uploading and linking to pictures. The resizing program actually only took about 10 seconds but technology scares me now that i'm no longer a software engineer.



Ok I will stop blathering and get on with the pics:



My new place. Not too shabby for $500/month:











My shit sprawled about:







My dinky ass kitchen. I was pretty pleased initially but then I realized it didn't have a microwave or garbage disposal, there's no counter space and the damn cupboard shelves are all too small.







The view outside of my living room:






My Chang-free blue bathroom.






My bedroom:








I was scared I would end up in the ghetto but my neighborhood is actually pretty damn nice. Thanks Elizabeth for the tips on where not to live. I was pretty worried about setting up living arrangements over the phone but the place is a lot nicer than I thought it would be. No fleas or anything like that. Right next to a Target, Walgreens, a BofA and a Schnucks. In case you're wondering, 'Schnucks' is hick for 'supermarket'.









My building. That's my living room window on the top right.






My pimp suv rental. They were supposed to give me a compact car @ $17/day but it wasn't on the lot when I went out there. The rental place was damn crowded that day (i had waited 40 min in line) for some reason and the floor guy wanted to get rid of me so he offered me this ford escape instead. As I agreed I saw my compact roll up behind him but said nothing as he filled out the paperwork. Karma++






I bought a futon at walmart for 93 bucks. Pretty good deal I thought until I lost my balls somewhere in the staircase trying to get that bitch up three floors.
Before:






After (5 friggin hours later):






One piece of furniture sure makes a big difference in an empty apartment. It was nice finally having something to sit down on.






The next day (Saturday) I went to go pick up my parents at the airport. I had reserved a mini-van (my parents checked in 4 huge boxes of my crap) but they didn't have one so they gave me a big ass Ford Explorer instead (at the cheaper rate). The view leaving the rental place:






I must say I really enjoy driving around in these SUVs. Parking is a bitch but it feels good driving around like I'm compensating for something. I had an almost irresistable urge to blast rap music and slap some hoes in different area codes.



Sneaking up on my lost parents at STL:






Just half of the shit they brought for me:






Scenic garage shot of my beautiful parents:






My room after blowing a shitload of money at costco, target and walmart:






Sunday was the white coat ceremony at 1:30. We got there at 1. Apparently students were supposed to be there at 12. Oops. I got there just as they were posing for the last group shot. Sucks for them.



Walking down the church isle with my patented fake smile:






Donning the white coat.






I have been transformed! Gerald? Yes... that's what they used to call me...






My mom didn't catch it on camera but right after I was cloaked lightning struck, the earth shook and then Jesus climbed off of the cross and made a speech about me being his chosen one.



My parents posing in front of some fountain:






The fancy church where the ceremony took place:






My mom looks much better in the white coat than I do. I was sweating like a pig
in these pictures.






The whole white coat thing is pretty neat. After I got my official id card yesterday I went to the university hospital and performed two surgeries and cured 3 lepers without anyone noticing. I guess when you look this sexy you can pretty much say anything and people will concur.



I spent the majority of the weekend hunched over the floor of my apartment building shit. Can I just say I love target furniture. I swear when I have a mansion I'm going to furnish the whole place with the stuff. I don't know why you would shell out top dollar for good looking prebuilt antiques and crap. It's so much more satisfying to use shit you've actually built. Plus Jesus was a carpenter.



My microwave cart:






My shelf-turned-shoerack and $8 lamp:






My bookshelf and matching table. That goddamn desk took like 500 hours to build.






My new shelf and drawers holding the unmentionables.






Today I got my first course reader, for anatomy. Look at the size of that motherfucker. For reference, that is my size 18 foot (fyi, ladies) in the picture. This thing is my daddy for the next ten weeks.






Anyway I am running out of stamina here so I will have to save the rest of the interesting topics such as my intimate thoughts on getting cable vs. dsl internet for another day. Back to work you lazy elves.



Hi res pics for my stalkers