Not enough time
There just isn't enough time in one day. There are so many things I want to do but I can't. I want to sit on my ass and just sit on my ass all day. I want to be able to read a book if I want to and not have to feel bad about it. Two chicks at one time. Etc etc.
research, dev project 1, dev project 2, mfking mfking mfking classes. goddamn seminars. all of you just get off of my nuts. gym, food, brushing teeth, blow up dolls. everything takes up time. i want so badly to just be a degenerate for a while... like a decade would be nice.
was it too much to ask to just do poorly on a test? All i wanted was a mediocre score, to get the monkey off of my back. i've never been so unprepared for a test before. i only reviewed 3 days of material because i ran out of time. and what do i get. not a great score which would have made me happy, nor a poor score, which i would have deserved, but an annoying, borderline, i can still honor this class score. mfker!
i just wanted to pass this class so i can get my research and other shit done, read some books and enjoy life until christmas.
...
i think our course director hates me. He sees me come into class exactly 12 minutes late every day, except on the days i skip. he knows my name, I know not how. and everytime he passes me he insists on calling me by my first name. "hi gerlad (late rude ass bitch mfker)" "thanks for your exam gerlad (asshole why can't you ever show up on time)" "have a good weekend gerlad (i notice you always skip only my lectures fuckface)" he's so sickeningly nice about it, i think something must be up.
he should actually feel complimented. it's not i dislike his lectures. it's just that unlike the rest of our profs, his notes are so good and clear (to me) it warrants skipping his lectures, which i've been told are great. but i don't need my hand held through bonehead physics like 70% of the class.
he's probably just a really nice guy and i'm paranoid, but at any rate, i don't want to be a pulmonologist anyhow so...
..
oh yeah after the exam i think one of our deans of something MAY have heard me talking shit about him. he kept on making announcements about our second (trivial) exam during the last 10 minutes of our first (real) exam. which was actually pretty tough and time constrained such that almost everyone was running out of time (i am no jeremy). so i was relating how friggin annoying and distracting he was, using subtle words such as "Dr. blahblahblah... and i kept thinking 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' *aggravated hand gestures*" ... when apparently he walks by some 10 feet to the side of the group because everyone jumps on me to stop talking.
oops. another really nice guy too. on the plus side, even if he had heard, he might not have triangulated me as the source.
...
it's too warm. cold enough that my teeth chatter on the walk to class, but not cold enough to get snow. instead, we're in this limbo where get "freezing rain". Actual 31, feels like 22 bullshit. So instead of pretty white brushable snow i get a 2mm sheet of windshield ice to greet me in the mornings. which made me 15 minutes late! and scraping is not fun.
it did snow for the first time here, last thursday. not enough to collect and it soon turned to sleet, but it was pretty while it lasted. only wish i had someone to walk through the snow with.
bedtime
research, dev project 1, dev project 2, mfking mfking mfking classes. goddamn seminars. all of you just get off of my nuts. gym, food, brushing teeth, blow up dolls. everything takes up time. i want so badly to just be a degenerate for a while... like a decade would be nice.
was it too much to ask to just do poorly on a test? All i wanted was a mediocre score, to get the monkey off of my back. i've never been so unprepared for a test before. i only reviewed 3 days of material because i ran out of time. and what do i get. not a great score which would have made me happy, nor a poor score, which i would have deserved, but an annoying, borderline, i can still honor this class score. mfker!
i just wanted to pass this class so i can get my research and other shit done, read some books and enjoy life until christmas.
...
i think our course director hates me. He sees me come into class exactly 12 minutes late every day, except on the days i skip. he knows my name, I know not how. and everytime he passes me he insists on calling me by my first name. "hi gerlad (late rude ass bitch mfker)" "thanks for your exam gerlad (asshole why can't you ever show up on time)" "have a good weekend gerlad (i notice you always skip only my lectures fuckface)" he's so sickeningly nice about it, i think something must be up.
he should actually feel complimented. it's not i dislike his lectures. it's just that unlike the rest of our profs, his notes are so good and clear (to me) it warrants skipping his lectures, which i've been told are great. but i don't need my hand held through bonehead physics like 70% of the class.
he's probably just a really nice guy and i'm paranoid, but at any rate, i don't want to be a pulmonologist anyhow so...
..
oh yeah after the exam i think one of our deans of something MAY have heard me talking shit about him. he kept on making announcements about our second (trivial) exam during the last 10 minutes of our first (real) exam. which was actually pretty tough and time constrained such that almost everyone was running out of time (i am no jeremy). so i was relating how friggin annoying and distracting he was, using subtle words such as "Dr. blahblahblah... and i kept thinking 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' *aggravated hand gestures*" ... when apparently he walks by some 10 feet to the side of the group because everyone jumps on me to stop talking.
oops. another really nice guy too. on the plus side, even if he had heard, he might not have triangulated me as the source.
...
it's too warm. cold enough that my teeth chatter on the walk to class, but not cold enough to get snow. instead, we're in this limbo where get "freezing rain". Actual 31, feels like 22 bullshit. So instead of pretty white brushable snow i get a 2mm sheet of windshield ice to greet me in the mornings. which made me 15 minutes late! and scraping is not fun.
it did snow for the first time here, last thursday. not enough to collect and it soon turned to sleet, but it was pretty while it lasted. only wish i had someone to walk through the snow with.
bedtime


3 Comments:
It's pretty cold out here, too. I was pretty uncomfortable biking to BART today.
so im paranoid about my peds attending hating me because i think she's caught me twice talking behind her back about her. the most recent time, we were talking about her being in a foul mood during rounds...one of the interns said to me, "she must have not liked her hannakuh present this morning" (she's jewish), and of course i didnt get it, so i was like, huh? she didnt like a present you got her? and so he explained it and afterwards i was like, 'ohhh...yeah i agree she was in a bad mood today. well, i dont think she likes me very much, she must not be very nice in general'. and of course, we both stand up to go do work and find her sitting right behind us the whole time.... :(
oh wow
i can put my foot in my mouth but i don't think i can compete with that :)
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