Saturday, September 22, 2007

blogem

I came across this video on a football message board of all places. It's about a Carnegie Mellon computer science professor speaking at one of those "Last Lecture" talk series' where reknowned professors give a lecture as they would if it were their last. Except Randy Pausch has pancreatic cancer and doesn't expect to live for more than a few weeks.

I first put this on to listen to in the background while I studied but after a while I ended up just watching it straight through to the end. I then used up another good hour or so reading up on all I could about the man.

His talk is rather long (hour and a half w/ about a 10 minute standing ovation) but he's cheerful, funny and very inspirational. It's very touching, especially at the very end. I got watery-eyed more than once.

Maybe it's because I used to be computer science. Or because he's attacked his short life with the kind of energy and passion that I've never had, but wish for. Or that he's probably touched more lives than I ever will, without a medical degree.

His talk just really resonated with me and I wanted to document that. I want to be able to come back here in a few months, or years, when he's gone, and watch it again. Hopefully his message isn't lost on me.



"When you're screwing up and nobody's saying anything to you anymore, that means they've given up on you."

"Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls aren't there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things."

"Find the best in everybody."

"Don't complain. Just work harder."

"Talk's not for you," he said. "It's for my kids."

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Song of the Day - A Fine Frenzy - Hope for the Hopeless.mp3

Monday, September 17, 2007

I <3 my spaghetti

Sooooooooooo goooood.

I would take the pepsi challenge with my spaghetti against mario batalli's any day of the week. It even tastes great out of the freezer. I need to figure out a way to get this into the frozen section of grocery stores so I can drop out of med school.

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Why do people come to free clinics and then bitch about the wait? It's FREE you dumb $@*t. No I won't get the doctor to see you until I'm damn well ready. Like I care how sleepy you are, stop telling me that. There are 4 other freakin exam rooms in case you didn't notice. I suppose I'm a bad person if this made me want to make her wait longer.

It seriously freakin amazes me that you can be pushing 50 years old, weigh 200 pounds (female), have jacked up teef, a worse face, and still answer that you're getting laid more me. It's just wrong. What WON'T people have sex with? A shiver ran down my back just taking her blood pressure.

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Stanford won a foosball game! WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!

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Song of the Week - A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover.mp3 (higher quality full album here)

Okay I know i've been posting some pretty gay songs lately but trust me on this one, it is straight up gangsta.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

one of those days

feeling down for no good reason at all.

i need to get more sleep and stop staying up so late for no reason. i shouldn't drink caffeine so early in the morning.

i'm sick of learning.

i think i will try moving my computer into the living room to see if i can actually get some work done tonight.

maybe eating a whole pint of ice cream will help...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

wraaagghh

been standing around like an idiot for 10 minutes trying to hunt down the mosquito that just feasted on my arm. i saw him in my peripheral vision then stupidly sat there for two seconds trying to decide if i should splatter him or shake him off so i could go get a tissue and squish him. I thought he was just some bug at first until i realized he was a mosquito and quickly blew him off of me. i find it amusing how i can touch dead bodies but the thought of bug guts on my skin freaks me out.

I thought he had just gotten there too but apparently not as now i have a huge ass bite mark on my arm that itches like crazzzy. so i've been standing around like a statue minus the itching trying to hunt him down but now the mfker is apparently full and laying low. he'll probably reemerge while i'm sleeping and bite me in the eye. we just studied brain infections and now i'm wondering if i'm going to get st louis encephalitis because apparently tis the peak season for it.

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i can't find my cell phone and i'm pretty sure it's in my jeans...

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my jeans would be in the washer right now...

:(

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i don't know why i didn't do laundry during my three fricken day weekend. i had to do it tonight because i'm down to my very last pair of underwear (out of like 60). i briefly entertained the idea of turning them inside out...

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tomorrow i have an interview to be on the admissions committee at my school. apparently about a hundred of us signed up and i'm somewhat flattered because the only people who seem to have gotten interviews are the annoying ass hardcore nerd/gunners. i'm trying to decide if i should dress up tomorrow or if that would be overkill. my only concern is that i'll have to sit through 4 hours of lecture dressed up all pretty and it gets annoying being hit on all of the time.

i really want this position because i remember how stressful it was to apply to medical school and i want to give back by arbitrarily rejecting people and giving an unfair advantage to hot chicks...

OKAY FOR THE RECORD THAT WAS A JOKE IN CASE THIS SHOULD EVER GET BACK TO MY SCHOOL PROFESSIONALISM COMMITTEE PLEASE KNOW THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD EVER DO SUCH A THING

never, ever, ever. this is me we're talking about.

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After driving around like a fugitive for 4 months with unregistered california plates yesterday i went to dmv (omg california dmv is like a ZEEELLION times better, faster and less ghetto) and now i have ugly ass MO "show me state" license plates.

:( :( :(

i miss cali

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Song of the Week (i'm going through a redneck phase right now)- Tim McGraw & Faith Hill - It's Your Love.mp3

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Edit: Damn! I found my cellphone on silent hiding underneath my bed. I really wanted an excuse to upgrade too.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I am a model of self restraint

Biggest exam of my med school career to date coming up this Friday/Sat (two-day exam.. bastards!) and I just spent the last four hours at Borders reading Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential.

Pretty darn good book though. He also has a hilarious blog on the show Top Chef.

I don't know if it's safe to go back to Borders tomorrow. I might end up finishing the damn thing.

There are some really, REALLY weird people at borders who are there every day. Besides me, of course.

On the plus side, I am technically all caught up with the material (gone once through with my psychotic-nazi-ocd-highligting scheme), which is a first for me during the week leading up to an exam. Of course I have an astronomical pile of stuff to review.

I'm really liking neuroscience. The brain is so damn cool. I most definitely want to be a neurosurgeon. But I don't want to train. Like... at all. I wonder if this is possible. It should be.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

n/m

college football news and message boards are absolutely killing my productivity.

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okay i decided i will add a few lines of content so that this post is more than just a link to a cheesy but undeniably catchy top 40 song.

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i made a friend at border's today. this asian girl who was studying ochem at one of the tables. i walked in through the door, she looked up, we made eye contact and shared an instant connection.

yes, that's right girl. I see you. i saw you here last night. Yes, i was here too. I noticed you notice me. You noticed that too? Can you read the look in my eyes? That's me noticing you wearing the EXACT same outfit you were wearing here yesterday. same frumpy shirt, same frumpy shorts. Oops.

the moral of the story- i live at borders. if you're going to come here to study two days in a row, at least change your clothes. i have friends who come to borders and i'm not too classy to point and snicker behind your back.

i'm secretly hoping she shows up there tomorrow wearing the same outfit. that would totally blow my mind. i don't know what i would do. i might have to buy her a smoothie.

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Song of the Week - Pink - Who Knew.mp3

edit2: 2 for one special... Song of the Week #2 - Fergie - Big Girl's Don't Cry.mp3