I Felt Like a Doctor Today
As a med student on rotations with theoretically zero authority, nothing feels better than spotting an error in logic or medications, or coming up with a different diagnosis that results in a tangible change in medical management.
nothing is more vindicating than showing the powers that be above you that you were there to catch screwups which they with the md behind their signatures are ultimately responsible for. me, a lowly msiii.
sure, maybe it was my poor h&p that led us in the wrong direction. yeah, in fact that's exactly what it was... but who's counting?
i mean, if i hadn't caught my own fuckup, where would they be? shit up the creek without a diagnosis, that's where.
the key is making the error under your unsuspecting first attending. then catching the error after hours and then calling up your brand new second attending who's taking over the case and now thinks, 'damn, this kid is dilligent'
score!
...
I sent in another one of my H&P writeups to my preceptorship last friday and i got back an email today from him which said only the following:
"Suboptimal, Gerlad. See comments"
ouch! that kinda really hurt my feelings...
it's okay though because i purposely set my writeup standards low so i can trend upwards. i even turned it in 2 days later than the other two in my group. still it was a little harsh.
i don't understand why they expect us to write 50 freaking pages up in grand detail when in reality all of the real docs write 2 sentences in ineligible chickenscratch. get real.
...
On the other hand i met with my (first) attending today for an evaluation-vs-self-evaluation session. Self evaluation is a very tricky business. You always want to underestimate yourself. But then again you don't want to be so thoroughly convincing in the explanation area that they agree with your score assessments. I gave myself all satisfactorys except for motivation, which i put as excellent. I think it worked as he upgraded my grade for every category and kept the excellent for motivation. score! i almost shed a tear in my pants when he told me my knowledge base was definitely above average.
...
I'm having this inner battle to decide how much I care/should care. On the one hand, I spend a lot of extra time in the hospital in talking to and caring for my patients. I'm usually there on average over an hour or two later than my counterpart. Not sure why that is but it always ends up that way somehow.
On the other hand, I'm consciously aware of the fact that I spend way too much fucking time in the hospital. Going back to make sure their pain meds got ordered like you asked (they were). Annoying the tired ent doc to make sure your less than sane patient's ridiculous request gets made like you ridiculously promised. Spending extra time with my patients to answer their questions and make small talk and letting them know someone kinda cares while I glance at the clock and realize I don't have any time for reading again tonight. Which begs the question- do you really care if you resent/hate the fact that you care?
Sure it makes the patient feel better (maybe) or the attendings residents realize your dedication (doubtful they notice). But then again most of the time I come home look at the clock, think about how tired i am and conclude it probably wasn't worth the extra effort.
Third year is freaking tiring. Or medicine in general. This whole business is like a mirage. People always just keep telling you to temporarily self-sacrifice and that there's light at the end of the tunnel. but then you look around at all of the doctors and they're all still self-sacrificing and miserable and how many are all that happy.
...
Yesterday me and the subi tracked down the source of the popsicles we saw our chf patient snacking on. it looked so good i almost sntached it from him. I had been obsessing about the damn thing for the last week. now I'm determined to smuggle a popsicle every day until i make back my 65k. nice too because it's freaking hot up in hurr.
...
in other news step 1 is my bitch afterall.
...
Song of the Week - Leona Lewis - Run.mp3
nothing is more vindicating than showing the powers that be above you that you were there to catch screwups which they with the md behind their signatures are ultimately responsible for. me, a lowly msiii.
sure, maybe it was my poor h&p that led us in the wrong direction. yeah, in fact that's exactly what it was... but who's counting?
i mean, if i hadn't caught my own fuckup, where would they be? shit up the creek without a diagnosis, that's where.
the key is making the error under your unsuspecting first attending. then catching the error after hours and then calling up your brand new second attending who's taking over the case and now thinks, 'damn, this kid is dilligent'
score!
...
I sent in another one of my H&P writeups to my preceptorship last friday and i got back an email today from him which said only the following:
"Suboptimal, Gerlad. See comments"
ouch! that kinda really hurt my feelings...
it's okay though because i purposely set my writeup standards low so i can trend upwards. i even turned it in 2 days later than the other two in my group. still it was a little harsh.
i don't understand why they expect us to write 50 freaking pages up in grand detail when in reality all of the real docs write 2 sentences in ineligible chickenscratch. get real.
...
On the other hand i met with my (first) attending today for an evaluation-vs-self-evaluation session. Self evaluation is a very tricky business. You always want to underestimate yourself. But then again you don't want to be so thoroughly convincing in the explanation area that they agree with your score assessments. I gave myself all satisfactorys except for motivation, which i put as excellent. I think it worked as he upgraded my grade for every category and kept the excellent for motivation. score! i almost shed a tear in my pants when he told me my knowledge base was definitely above average.
...
I'm having this inner battle to decide how much I care/should care. On the one hand, I spend a lot of extra time in the hospital in talking to and caring for my patients. I'm usually there on average over an hour or two later than my counterpart. Not sure why that is but it always ends up that way somehow.
On the other hand, I'm consciously aware of the fact that I spend way too much fucking time in the hospital. Going back to make sure their pain meds got ordered like you asked (they were). Annoying the tired ent doc to make sure your less than sane patient's ridiculous request gets made like you ridiculously promised. Spending extra time with my patients to answer their questions and make small talk and letting them know someone kinda cares while I glance at the clock and realize I don't have any time for reading again tonight. Which begs the question- do you really care if you resent/hate the fact that you care?
Sure it makes the patient feel better (maybe) or the attendings residents realize your dedication (doubtful they notice). But then again most of the time I come home look at the clock, think about how tired i am and conclude it probably wasn't worth the extra effort.
Third year is freaking tiring. Or medicine in general. This whole business is like a mirage. People always just keep telling you to temporarily self-sacrifice and that there's light at the end of the tunnel. but then you look around at all of the doctors and they're all still self-sacrificing and miserable and how many are all that happy.
...
Yesterday me and the subi tracked down the source of the popsicles we saw our chf patient snacking on. it looked so good i almost sntached it from him. I had been obsessing about the damn thing for the last week. now I'm determined to smuggle a popsicle every day until i make back my 65k. nice too because it's freaking hot up in hurr.
...
in other news step 1 is my bitch afterall.
...
Song of the Week - Leona Lewis - Run.mp3
posted by Gerlad at
8:40 PM
7 Comments:
So if I were to ask if you had enough for an order of ribs, you would say...
plus or minus tax?
:P
Nice, that means yes without tax. :P Congrats!
By the way, Andrew owes me a dollar.
huh?
alright, i'm not playing along with these "dollar bet" jokes anymore because i think it's making me look bad :p
Yeah sorry about that. Almost had gerlad facebook unfriend you for betting against him.
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