procrastinating

I don't trust people that don't like water chestnuts... fuckers ... i mean what's not to like. not everything has to punch you in the mouth to be appreciated. there is something to be said about subtlety and texture.

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make that 5 losses in a row to said female. up 18-10 and I lose 22-20. I am just mentally weak. So in answer to your questions guys, probably no, i am not good enough to hang.

i think everyone with their tennis backgrounds have an unfair advantage on me with their spin techniques. i'm all topspin and i think i need to change it up a little. but i keep just popping it up.

I need to buy my own ping pong paddle, that will change everything...

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they gave us waaay too much time to study for this exam... 1 week without lecture... unheard of.

and so I don't know how I find myself running out of time. 24 hours now to read 300 highlighted pages. i wish i could buy discipline. i'm going to be such a shitty doctor hahaha. renal is cool though, less memorization than in any other module we've had so far.

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as part 2 of my new workout routine I'm eating a shitload of beef jerky. this should burn off the chubby cheeks and give way to a fine chiseled pitt-esque facial physique. my massester's are just bulging right now, i can feel em.

.. what i really need to do is stop eating so many chewy chips ahoy cookies every day. And these costco truffles andrew gave me. plus the daily pack of M&Ms. again, i wish i could buy discipline.

have i mentioned before that my spaghetti is fucking awesome? because it is. honestly. i know objectively there are probably a few things that may taste better... like pure butter or fresh milk from a... cow. but nothing makes me happier than a bowl of my own home cooked spaghetti. i put straight love in there, man. one of these days i will try integrating fresh herbs and shit into my recipe but i'm worried my head might explode.

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surfing on my phone so often is giving me extensor tendonitis. this is actually my 3rd time typing this out, the first two times by phone browser crashed on me. now i'm on my computer finishing it up. believe me this post was 1000x more interesting the first time around, but it's so hard to recreate the magic...

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i am so going to order one of these new hoodies the 1st years came up with:


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Song of the week (number 2): Colbie Caillat - Bubbly.mp3

The weatherman ain't crazy

I checked the weather today before leaving (coolest feature on my phone) and it said high 71, low 13. gee, the temp +/- 60 degrees... how impressive. but it was literally 70 degrees outside and with my thick jacket and Robbins in my backpack weighing me down I was sweating climbing the stairs at school.

but now i'm looking outside at borders and it is snowing like crazy and freezing!

trippy
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the reason I'm blogging so much these days is because I have a final coming up on Friday and I keep searchig for ways to procrastinate..

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scratch what I said about getting pretty good at ping pong. I just got my as whooped four times in a row to a girl. my membership was always tenuous at best but now I really think I should lose my mancard.

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I'm getting pretty fast typing with this darn thing... auto correct rules.

I guess I should study... signing off ... from borders!

Phew...

Out of breath. New workout plan to get in better shape. 3 days a week in my room, blasting hip-hop for an hour and dancing like there's no one watching... well, because no one is. Except God. Who's probably rolling his eyes.

picture tom cruise in risky business... except with pants on... and gangsta rap... minus the good looks... and well, nevermind.

I think I am onto something here. I should start a new gym where for a minimal fee hot chicks can enter a closed off dance studio with poor lighting and loud ass music where they can dance straight for an hour with me and act like fools. it's a hell of a lot more fun than the exercise bike.

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off topic- goddamn att dsl

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Song of the Week - Chris Brown - With you.mp3

some dumb thoughts

i hate allergies. i sneeze like 100 times in one day and strangers look at me like i'm a freak. I'm not sick, I swear, it's just allergies! my sinuses get all stuffed up and i feel like shit. sometimes if i feel like being friendly or charming i can't because i'm all congested. so i end up all whiny and bitchy inside. and I can't study because my brain is going at 25%.

I wasn't very productive at borders but I did find a good book on magic (for dummies) and mentally learned a few entertaining magic tricks. I hope it's cold enough tomorrow to try out my new scarf trick. I picked up a few other ones that will kill at parties... with my 4 year old cousins.

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I've been listening to a lot of christian praise songs lately. I don't know why but I've always loved listening to praise music about a million times more than going to church or praying. Maybe it's because i'm a sucker for cheesy love songs, and most of these songs you can pretty much substitute 'jesus/God' for '(name-of-girl)' and it works out pretty well.

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I played in a basketball game for I think the first time since the 10th grade on Friday. I think it might have also been my first real cardio workout in over a year (I stopped running last October... because it's just so boring). Yeah, I sucked (I went like 0 for 5, but I worked out for 1.5 hours ahead of time so I kept overshooting- that's my story and I"m sticking to it), but it was actually pretty fun. Though I think I sprained something in my left foot.

People sometimes wonder why I don't like to play basketball. I'm not even the worst guy on the court (some superdork med students + girls). Well to be frank, it's because I have a pretty big fear of failure. I don't want to be "that guy". The dork on the court whom I laugh at from the sideline because he can't dribble. I can't dribble because I was a shy little runt of a kid who was too afraid to play with the good black kids on the court.

Same reason I don't answer questions in class even when i'm 97% sure I know the answer.

Obviously I've grown a lot since then.

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On the other hand, I've been getting pretty damn good at ping pong (aka table tennis). Which is of course, infinitely more impressive to the ladies.

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When I have a son (I would hate to have a daughter... just thinking about all the asshole / loser guys out there), I am going to teach him to be everything that I am not. I'm going to have him dribbling balls and playing sports as soon as he can walk (see prodigy kid on changina blog).

More importantly, I am going to teach him to be the biggest pimp to ever walk the face of whatever elementary school he ends up in. I've been told a few times recently that I give pretty good relationship advice (as with poker, do as i say not as i do) and so I really think I could teach a 6 year old a thing or two.

I will make it easy for him. Go ask the cute girl in your class if she wants to fingerpaint with you. Or eat my belt. Now go tell other cute girl she has a pretty smile. Or 5 lashes, instead. Good boy. Now polish my shoes.

By age 10 (around same time my parents stopped whipping me) I will be able to put the belt away he will have gotten over any ridiculous fears of failure. I really appreciate the beatings my parents gave me as a kid because I think I am a much better person for it. But I was a pretty good kid and so I think they could have used some of that unused fear-of-the-belt capital on some additional constructive purposes.

call me crazy.

blargh

One thing I hate about med school is that when you do absolutely nothing for an entire friday and saturday, it makes you feel so guilty and shit. before if i did absolutely nothing i would just feel like a loser. now i feel like a guilty loser who is behind. not on school, but i really should have finished up my research this weekend. and now i will have no time during the week.

i hate that pressure to always be productive. it goes against every fiber of my lazy being.

It's just so hard though sometimes. when you turn on the tv and find yourself watching 20 guys and lesbians competing for tila tequila. and then followed up by the spring break special on the backstabbing drama of 'shooter girls'. how can you turn that stuff off. My mind is craving brainless stimulation. i really need to go watch rambo.

off to borders to redeem the free drink i've earned. maybe i'll hit up the mall and get another 1 hour sharper image massage too.

7 degrees

"Feels Like" -9

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#$*@!!!!!!!

Worst Dream Ever

I dreamt last night I scored a 265 on my USMLE step 1 exam. I was pretty goddman happy consider the zombies and all kinds of other crazy crap going on in the background. Then I woke up and immediately thought fuuuuuuuuuuuck. I was so disappointed when I realized I still had to take that stupid test... dammit. So much for doing derm.

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I can now officially say that I've loobed up and been inside of another man. And I have to say, the experience was rather anti-climatic. Somehow I thought it would be much more gross and I'd be able to use the experience as ammo for a myriad of immature jokes. Instead it was just "interesting" and rather routine.

ie I couldn't find his G spot.

The worst part about the whole thing was that after manually assisting us in palpating his private parts, bending over for us, etc... after I had washed my hands and was getting ready to leave... I said thanks a lot and then he stuck his tainted hand out for me to shake... Dammit!! what was I supposed to do? I realize that I probably inadvertently shake hands quite often with people who have recently adjusted their nuts or scratched their ass etc but knowing it happened outright is just something different. It took great willpower on my part not to wash my hands again right there in front of him.

Now I'm stuck eating and masturbating with only my left hand.

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I guess I'm slowly making my way through the checklist of "interesting" medical experiences. I've chopped through various crazy things in anatomy. Drawn blood. Rectal exam. Palpated a chick's ass bone. Handled a huge man-breast. All I have to do now is suture a live patient, deliver a baby, inadvertently kill someone, and have sex in a supply cabinet and I'm on my way.

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My iphone has fcuked up my studying but it is one sweet little toy.

I should be sleeping right now.

Note to self

Trim fingernails before rectal exam on Wednesday.

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I hope it doesn't move.
*shudders*

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Posting from my iphone at borders :)

Edit: Song of the Week - Alicia Keys - No One.mp3

Back

This morning I looked down at my food and came to the sad realization that this would be my last homecooked breakfast in a while... months, maybe. Looks like it's back to PB&Js for me.
:(
Home is so wonderful. I get up, I slob around, I make my way to the dining table, sit there like an unappreciative lazy ass, and eventually I find plates of food and oj served up in front of me. All I have to do is do a few dishes here and there.

Damn it would be so nice to live at or near home and have food and laundry always taken care of for me. Plus free haircuts. Damn you davis for rejecting me. Damn you stanford and ucsf for not even interviewing me. I miss my family. I miss our dog.

So now I'm back. Global warming going on or something, because it was 70 degrees out here while it's storming in Cali. I thought I would have to dig my car out of the snow. I don't know why I hate this place so much. Objectively it's really not so bad. One of the things that really bugs me is that I can't just go out and go for a stroll around campus at night if I want to. Not that I would, necessarily. But I can't. Not without fear of being mugged. I guess that's one reason.

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I watched 52 episodes of Prison Break over my break, if you include the 3 I watched on the airplane (which almost crash landed on the runway). Damn good show. It's a lot like Lost, except minus the whoaaa-coool omgwtfbbq moments. On the other hand, it also doesn't have those annoying-ass omgwtfbbq moments. So overall I'd say it's a better show, the first two seasons anyway. Think Shawshank + the Fugitive + something else (the pretender?) all rolled into one.

Plus they have a cute tease doctor chick. Season 3 is pretty dumb so far though so I'm going to pretend the show ended after season 2.

I've realized that I need to be a bit hesitant when recommending books, movies, etc (except for the girly songs of the week, which are all money). My opinion on entertainment after studying is next to worthless. I watched I am Legend before my finals and thought it was a totally great movie. Then I watched it again (bootleg dvd) over the break after a satisfying week of jerking off and realized how utterly silly it was to have the fresh prince playing a scientist. I think the true intensity of the movie was multiplied by my guilt of procrastinating. After reading pathology for a few hours, I guess I'm so brain-dead I would probably recommend beverly hills 90210 for an oscar.

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Dammit I'm hungry and no snackfood in the fridge.

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Not looking forward to school. Going to start learning in depth about pee-pee. And we have lecture on the friggin fourth floor. Jerks. That means I gotta wake up 3 minutes earlier just to be 5 minutes late. I've been reading a lot of studentdoctor .net threads and I think I'm going to try out this whole not going to class business. I don't know why I feel guilty after missing lectures, when I never feel like they're very productive for me. I could really use the extra 3+ hours of free time per day.

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"I became a doctor for the same four reasons that everybody does- chicks, money, power and chicks." - Dr. Cox

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Edit: Reason #2 why I hate this place- it's so fucking hard to recycle in this state. No recycling bins anywhere. I have to collect huge ass garbage bags of paper and bottles in my apartment (making it look ugly) just to drive that shit 10 blocks away to stuff into overloaded bins. It's like 1980 over here when it comes to being green. Plus with all the hick pickup trucks driving around.